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new journal [Sep. 3rd, 2004|01:31 pm]
[Current Mood |awakeawake]
[Kickass Tunes |Taking Back Sunday-Cute Without the E]

xwickedinfernox i know, im hella bad at coming up with names please add me!
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I fucked up [Aug. 21st, 2004|03:09 pm]
[Current Mood |empty]
[Kickass Tunes |Sunny Day Real Estate]

i fucked up bad. and because of it one of the few people i actualy love is hurt. you know the worst part though? sure i feel guilt. but the worst part is she passes on like i didnt fuck up, and it will remain unknown but to two people. she wont acknowledge that ive done something terrible for no reason, and thats whats eating me up. i regret doing it, i know its my fault, but the worst part of the whole thing is that she knows i fucked up and refuses to do anything about it. payback is a bitch.

Where words are not
Feeling remains
And I dream
To heal your wounds
But I bleed myself
I bleed myself
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New best band ever.... [Aug. 10th, 2004|10:10 pm]
[Current Mood |EMO!]
[Kickass Tunes |Coheed and Cambria-In Keeping Secrets of the Silent Earth:3]

Coheed and fucking Cambria!

I just pirated both their albums and they are freaking amazing. They are really emo, but its also really heavy emo. Claudio Sanchez, the lead singer, has the highest range I have ever heard in a mainstream band, and he's also a great guitarist. All their songs are so catchy, and the best part is, their songs are all based off of a comic book! Coheed and Cambria are two main characters in a comic book, and each graphic novel has the same title as an album. The songs are basically a soundtrack to the story, and the first comic comes out next month. The band is just fucking amazing, go download as many songs as you can. Their albums are entitled Second Stage Turbine Blade and In Keeping Secrets of the Silent Earth:3. They also have amazing titles for all their songs, like A Favor House Atlantic, and Camper Velourioum: I,II,III. Go, my pretties, and copyright infringe emo bands!
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That about sums it up.... [Jul. 4th, 2004|11:18 pm]
[Current Mood |Same as i was 20 minutes ago]
[Kickass Tunes |Finch-What it is to burn]

You have wings of STEEL. No one's really
sure why, but at this point in your life you've
shut off emotion to the point of extreme
apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of
the time...or perhaps you're just a good
pretender. Next to impossible to get close to,
even those who do never see the real you. It's
entirely possible that YOU don't even know the
real you. You have a certain fascination or
attraction to destruction on a massive scale -
disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of
the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much
inside, one day you're simply going to snap.
Then the mask will fall away, and your true
wings will be revealed. Until then you will
deal with whatever comes your way in icy bitter
silence and acceptance. On the positive side,
you are fearless and immeasurably strong - not
much can crack through your defenses. You
intrigue people, who can't help but wonder why
you're the way you are. A loner and one who
spends much of their time brooding and
contemplating life and death - you are a time
bomb waiting to explode and create some
destruction of your own.

Image Source:
Words added by myself

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
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Rant #7 [Jul. 4th, 2004|10:47 pm]
[Current Mood |drunkdrunk]
[Kickass Tunes |Bohemian High-Silhouette]

i am sitting hear at my computer, it is approximately 10:41 the evening, and i am gazing out the window not 5 feet to my left. I am studying the scenery out on my deck, all the plants and gorgeous lights we recently had installed, and at the rotting wood where the painter missed a spot. but what i find most interesting of all of these is the pair of eyes gazing at me from just over the windowsill. as i search the windowframe for a sign of life, i am abruplty halted by the realization that i am being watch. that 2 little eyes have begun to watch my every motion, every letter i type. i look back at those eyes and i stare intently at the little caramel forehead, the only portion of the face that is visible to me(other than, of course, the eyes). i get up down on my knees so that my face is completely level with that of the creature so intent on making me feel as uncomfortable as possible during this late night confession. i crawl as quietly and quickly as possible and rest my eyes on the same level as those of the creature outside. and we just sit there, watching each other, for god knows how long, just watching each other, neither wanting to be the first to move. we are sharing a connection that no two living creatures have ever shared in the history of time and before, and never again will any 2 creatures share the bond that we currently have. until suddenly and frighteningly it moves. and what it does shocked me to a point of nearly unspeakable emotion, indescribable by human words..........


the window is smeared with saliva and god knows what else. the moment is broken completely, never to be duplicated ever again. i love my dog so very much. : )

now on to the ranting.

i'm not going to try to say that i know how you feel, because i don't. i don't know what its like to constantly want to better yourself, but i do know the feeling of utter and total disgust and dissatisfaction with your own actions. nobody feels sorry for some poor little rich kid who can't do what he wants with his life so he just drowns it in loud music and beer. i question my own humanity at times, but i am always drawn back to the theory that i am still of the so-called "dominant" species on this planet by one trait i share with all other humans: fear. in my darkest nightmares i am afraid that i will never be able to experience joy ever again, because im so fucking self conscious that i cant go to the fucking mall without feeling every eye burning into my skin, judging me with every glance they shoot in my direction. my world doesn't revolve around me, it revolves around the fact that i hate what i do and who i am so much it tears me up until i have no choice but to do something that i regret to the people i love. i hate this all bullshit, just dont give a fuck facade that i put up for everyone to see. depression isn't wanting a girl and not having her, depression is trying to hang yourself from the top bunk with a belt and realizing your too tall.

but i trudge on for one reason, and that reason is that i don't take my life for granted.i know the situation ive been put in is thousands of times better than people all over the world, that every day people just like me have their lives snuffed out by pure coincidence, and that every second i take for granted is a second that someone else could have had to enjoy life. and that is the only reason why im still here, talking to you today. even if you cant enjoy life, appreciate that you even got the chance to experience things that people all over the world never got to.

but what burns me up about this whole fucking situation is my incessant desire for love and my constant denial that i will ever be able to experience. how fucking hard is it to say three little words, no big fucking metaphors and cards and all that shit. just three little words, and i cant find any part of myself that means them for anything in this world. i cant push myself within a fucking inch of my life to find anything that i feel strongly enough about to be able to say and mean three teensy weensy itsy bitsy FUCKING WORDS. i can spout off the most derogatory and hurtful comment i can possibly think of to someone and mean it with all my heart, but i cant say three little fucking words to anyone, anywhere(except my dog, of course) and actually mean them. thats fucked up right there.
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Dammit.... [Jun. 28th, 2004|08:24 pm]
[Current Mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[Kickass Tunes |The Strokes-Soma]

i was seeing how long i could go without posting in my lj without anyone noticing, but i guess people noticed so i might as well start it up again.

To start things off, Faith=most awesomest person in history of forever.

Now to topics more relavent to your everyday lives........

When we last left our hero he had gotten bitchslapped into ovblivion by his mortal enemy, Kirsten Horger, also known as she of the ungodly awesome ass. Corey eventually recovered from these wounds, and the school year ended, for the most part, uneventfully. The one high note for the end of the year was that Corey did get himself a girlfriend, but she hung out with the fake goth girl and the uber gay white boy, so Corey decided to cut her off from his pimp juice. Corey also got the literary award for English class, but was pissed off because the girl everyone expected to win everything because of her suckupiness took home the actual English award, even though she didn't know that Poe lived in Richmond(you live there too, cockslut, you should know these things). Overachieving Asian boy Michael Wong(of the same parentage as Eric Wong, of whom many of you have heard) won 4 of 6 academic awards. That's just wrong.

Corey has also continued to mercilessly and shamelessly hit on all forms of female life not sharing a last name with him. He went to Baltimore, Maryland at the start of June for a Lacrosse tournament, and his team(with considerable help with ideas of vandalism) totally trashed their hotel. Corey broke a headlight with a lacrosse ball, broke the pool table and stole all the quarters out of it and got lots of free games, then encouraged others to do the same(on a side note, Corey was not responsible for the youth who urinated in the hotel elevator, though he wishes he was).

Corey has recently undergone physical therapy for his back problems of a most serious and painful nature. His shoulderblades stick out 2-3 inches farther than they should, which causes bad posture and severe back pain, not to mention reduced sexual drive(don't worry ladies, he'll be okay).

Corey's grandmother Helen has been of a most burdensome nature as of late, requiring him to perform obscure handyman tasks at odd hours of the day. Corey is considering pushing that old bitch down the stairs, that'll teach her what's what(take that old people).

Corey has recently discovered that his mother, while intelectually and socially proficient, is not at all intelligent and is far inferior to his realm of knowledge. This is easily abusable and quite fun as well, with no one such as a sibling with a conscience to foil his exploitations.

Corey added a 4th guitar to his repertoire on Saturday, this one being of the bass variety, and bringing his grand total of guitars paid for to....one.

As you can see our hero has been extremely busy with delightfully exciting activities which have prevented him from doing less delightfully exciting tasks, like curing AIDS and updating his livejournal. However he will try to do a better job of keeping in touch with his lj buddies, because he wants poontang from several of them in the near future.

Until next week, same time, same station, same absolutely amazing and second awesomest person in the history of forever, your hero will be here, and good night.
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I win... [Apr. 26th, 2004|05:29 pm]
[Current Mood |disappointeddisappointed]
[Kickass Tunes |NWA-Fuck the Police]

Yep, it finally happened. Kirsten snapped, slapped me, called me an asshole, and said she hated me. She then proceeded to storm off in a huff, and I to laugh my ass off. People started asking what the hell all that was about, but I just kept on laughing. So now I win the war because of a collapse of government, and Kyle owes me a dollar. I am slightly dissapointed though. I guess the process was more fun then the reward. Plus my face hurts some. That bitch has some long-ass nails. ; p
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Teeheehee... [Apr. 18th, 2004|02:15 pm]
[Current Mood |Dirty]

So if you read this journal chances are you've read something about Kirsten, or she-who-is-being-bombed-constantly by myself. Well It turns out i finally got some really good dirt on her boyfriend Peter. He's Canadian, and that makes it infinitely easier for me to say nasty things in her presence. So for those of you who are at all educated in dirty jokes, i asked her this on friday. Let's see if you get it.

Her-"Something stupid i don't quite remember"
Me-"Shut up you stupid bitch, we don't care what you have to say. By the way, how does it feel to have a bottle of Labatt Blue poured on your face?"

don't feel ashamed if you don't get it. but if you do then realize you have a sick sick dirty nasty mind.
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3 ?'s [Apr. 14th, 2004|03:22 pm]
[Current Mood |accomplishedaccomplished]

I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more, and no less. Ask me anything you want. Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this, allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.

ty to t3h faith
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Question... [Apr. 4th, 2004|09:10 pm]
Does anyone know why guys find boobs appealing? I was talking to this girl and she asked me that, and i cannot find a vaild answer for it. ::shrug::
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