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Dammit.... [Jun. 28th, 2004|08:24 pm]
[Current Mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[Kickass Tunes |The Strokes-Soma]

i was seeing how long i could go without posting in my lj without anyone noticing, but i guess people noticed so i might as well start it up again.

To start things off, Faith=most awesomest person in history of forever.

Now to topics more relavent to your everyday lives........

When we last left our hero he had gotten bitchslapped into ovblivion by his mortal enemy, Kirsten Horger, also known as she of the ungodly awesome ass. Corey eventually recovered from these wounds, and the school year ended, for the most part, uneventfully. The one high note for the end of the year was that Corey did get himself a girlfriend, but she hung out with the fake goth girl and the uber gay white boy, so Corey decided to cut her off from his pimp juice. Corey also got the literary award for English class, but was pissed off because the girl everyone expected to win everything because of her suckupiness took home the actual English award, even though she didn't know that Poe lived in Richmond(you live there too, cockslut, you should know these things). Overachieving Asian boy Michael Wong(of the same parentage as Eric Wong, of whom many of you have heard) won 4 of 6 academic awards. That's just wrong.

Corey has also continued to mercilessly and shamelessly hit on all forms of female life not sharing a last name with him. He went to Baltimore, Maryland at the start of June for a Lacrosse tournament, and his team(with considerable help with ideas of vandalism) totally trashed their hotel. Corey broke a headlight with a lacrosse ball, broke the pool table and stole all the quarters out of it and got lots of free games, then encouraged others to do the same(on a side note, Corey was not responsible for the youth who urinated in the hotel elevator, though he wishes he was).

Corey has recently undergone physical therapy for his back problems of a most serious and painful nature. His shoulderblades stick out 2-3 inches farther than they should, which causes bad posture and severe back pain, not to mention reduced sexual drive(don't worry ladies, he'll be okay).

Corey's grandmother Helen has been of a most burdensome nature as of late, requiring him to perform obscure handyman tasks at odd hours of the day. Corey is considering pushing that old bitch down the stairs, that'll teach her what's what(take that old people).

Corey has recently discovered that his mother, while intelectually and socially proficient, is not at all intelligent and is far inferior to his realm of knowledge. This is easily abusable and quite fun as well, with no one such as a sibling with a conscience to foil his exploitations.

Corey added a 4th guitar to his repertoire on Saturday, this one being of the bass variety, and bringing his grand total of guitars paid for to....one.

As you can see our hero has been extremely busy with delightfully exciting activities which have prevented him from doing less delightfully exciting tasks, like curing AIDS and updating his livejournal. However he will try to do a better job of keeping in touch with his lj buddies, because he wants poontang from several of them in the near future.

Until next week, same time, same station, same absolutely amazing and second awesomest person in the history of forever, your hero will be here, and good night.

From: jdezredel
2004-07-01 02:06 pm (UTC)
Well...thats new...
10 points for creativity.
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